[She's prone to self-depreciation even after she's been away from the control of her superiors. The time she's spent with Connor was truly precious and she's loved every moment of it. But there's so much happiness derived from it, it's making her suspicious and doubtful of herself.]
... I'm used to not being able to keep anything or anyone close to myself. Early on, I realized I was lacking so much as a human but I didn't have any confidence in trying to explore it. My humanity, I mean.
[The isolation wasn't self-inflicted of course. The factors of her life just made it so. She was born an esper and an archetype of the highest caliber possible. She only knew fear, disappointment, or indifference as the most prominent emotions expressed towards her. It had taken so long for her to break away from those bruising bonds and to find the courage to seek out what she wanted and even then it was a slow and agonizing process.
And by some fortune, she was able to meet him. An android who in some ways, was more human than her because he wanted to seek out something more to himself and his being. As the days went on, Ai was thriving on these interactions, the newness and unpredictability of each visit, and wanting more, and more, and more...
I'm a little scared.
She gives Connor a reassuring smile, relaxing her fingers so that they sit on her lap instead.]
When I say I'm selfish, it's like I only want to spend time with you compared to anyone else. Maybe it's because you're someone I can really call a friend after being without a real one for so long... And whether you're an android or human, I just want it to be you.
[She inhales and exhales deeply, realizing that perhaps she's said a bit too much of what's on her mind. Too much emotion and it's muddled and confusing even for herself.]
no subject
[She's prone to self-depreciation even after she's been away from the control of her superiors. The time she's spent with Connor was truly precious and she's loved every moment of it. But there's so much happiness derived from it, it's making her suspicious and doubtful of herself.]
... I'm used to not being able to keep anything or anyone close to myself. Early on, I realized I was lacking so much as a human but I didn't have any confidence in trying to explore it. My humanity, I mean.
[The isolation wasn't self-inflicted of course. The factors of her life just made it so. She was born an esper and an archetype of the highest caliber possible. She only knew fear, disappointment, or indifference as the most prominent emotions expressed towards her. It had taken so long for her to break away from those bruising bonds and to find the courage to seek out what she wanted and even then it was a slow and agonizing process.
And by some fortune, she was able to meet him. An android who in some ways, was more human than her because he wanted to seek out something more to himself and his being. As the days went on, Ai was thriving on these interactions, the newness and unpredictability of each visit, and wanting more, and more, and more...
I'm a little scared.
She gives Connor a reassuring smile, relaxing her fingers so that they sit on her lap instead.]
When I say I'm selfish, it's like I only want to spend time with you compared to anyone else. Maybe it's because you're someone I can really call a friend after being without a real one for so long... And whether you're an android or human, I just want it to be you.
[She inhales and exhales deeply, realizing that perhaps she's said a bit too much of what's on her mind. Too much emotion and it's muddled and confusing even for herself.]
Does that sound like too much? Like a burden?