Not at all, not at all! I was mostly shouting sense into myself, so it's not you Diarmuid. [Not entirely anyways, but that much goes unsaid.]

When I was out by myself, I had a lot of time to think things over in my head. [It's the partial truth.] And it's foolish, but it really hadn't hit me about how it's my entire life at stake because of this War. Learning magecraft is just something that's part of my life, but I don't believe I comprehended about what throwing your life into something means.

And to be honest, I felt immature when I realized that.