sweethymns | ғaтe/alт.dιѕтorтιon

[She's also quiet and the lightness of their footsteps against cement is the only sound that can be heard. Although silence could be a blessing, it's making her recall the past several days events and that included the haunting dream of Diarmuid's...

No. She can't let that bother her again. (But it does, it lingers like the fog around them.)

Even though those moments were painful, it would become another memory. It would join the other ones, including the day they first met and... For everything they've been through so far, Ai Thao could honestly tell herself that these were the most precious moments that she's had in years. She and Lien had been able to bond a little more as sisters. The young Master found herself overcoming obstacles in this War and growing, if only somewhat.

Would it still be too selfish to think of this man next to her as friend? The first night as Master and Servant, she acknowledged the thought as childish, but had some hope. Days had past and they were still connected.

As she mulls over those thoughts, as she so often does, another song escapes her lips. It's light, wishful, a reflection of words she can't directly say...]

When I'm gone, when I'm gone,
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

You're gonna miss me by my walk, you're gonna miss by my talk,
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone...

[ It's strange, how much of this he's gotten used to: the spontaneous singing, for one. The lyrics say plenty, and he's grateful for them as much as he's apologetic about the fact that he can't respond, in kind.

The conflict always remains, how much of himself he's allowed to give— in the sense that he's Ai's Servant, his current life is hers. But he knows the tragedy of overstepping, and he's averse to leading her on as much as he is to harming her.

So, instead of saying anything in response to her singing, he shrugs off his jacket and puts it over Ai's shoulders, keeping her a little drier from the light drizzle that's started. ]

[There's a light, "Oh!" as he places the jacket over her shoulders. Geez, this Servant was too good at being considerate. She's voiced her worries about having unnecessary feelings to Lien already and in hindsight, it's getting harder to tell what was real or if this was simply the rapture of many firsts that she wasn't able to have due to living at an abnormal pace with an equally abnormal life.

There's a part of her that thinks it would be nice. But there's literally a song called, "Fools Fall in Love," Ai thinks there's a good reason why that exists.]

... Thank you!

[Ai feels strange because she feels as if she's always been taken care of, even after her twin strove for her own independence. The rain makes her think of something else, thankfully.]

You know, I've always had a feeling that before, Lien and I would play in the rain during the monsoon seasons in Vietnam.

[A beat.]

We may not remember certain things, but I would like to think we weren't unhappy.

[ She doesn’t remember certain things—that’s a mystery, and one he’s not sure if he should comment on. Discretion is a big part of being a knight, but he makes his attentiveness known as he shifts his jacket so that it doesn’t slip off of her shoulders. ]

If that’s what you believe. It’s always better to think of the things that make you stronger.

[ Because he thinks she’s strong, in her own way. Credit where it’s due. ]

Mm. If that's the case, what thoughts strengthen yourself, Lancer?

[ Without missing a beat: ]

Easily, the thought of winning this war for my Master.

[ you walked right into this one ]

[THAT AGAIN]

[SIGH. Somewhat exasperated, she smiles regardless.]

No one could topple you from that could they?

No one. I've sworn myself to you, on this life that I've been given. That's my promise.

[ how is he this earnest???? how ]

[Not even me.

She pushes that thought away, that want. She tells herself, it's just magic. You don't need those feelings because they aren't real, but the appreciation for having her life protected is sincere and that's all it is.]

Hm. So even if this was a proper War, I bet I'd still be alive thanks to you. There hasn't been a Master that's tried to confront me yet.

[Although do you really want to face a girl who could twist things including rips in reality]

[ It's not necessarily that he undervalues his own life— the moment he does is the moment he'll allow himself to fail, and that's counterproductive— but the fact remains that first and foremost, he's a knight above everything else. He doesn't expect that path to be particularly easy.

For all of the ways in which life may have thrown him a curveball, Ai is his hope. And for that, he's thankful— it shows, in his expression. ]

You do me an honor by suggesting so. Though it could be a testament to your own skill.

[Well, that plan of ignoring want almost got shot (hell, what does she even want, Ai is finding it harder and harder to figure out the more time she spends time with him)]

Lancer... I'm happy. I really am. But in the end I'm just...

[... An orphan girl. A lonely girl. Both she and Lien woke up with nothing. Ai knew that Lien felt as if she was literally nothing which is why she didn't want to burden her younger twin. But that only made her feel more forlorn and even more desperate and she hid it by working hard, just being herself; the horribly sentimental self she had woken up as even if she couldn't remember why she became that way.

Ai had been working so hard as an apprentice just so she wouldn't disappear even if all she had were her Eyes. And now that this Spirit was here, even if unwavering loyalty to the end was his goal and for his honor, it felt like she was being cherished in a way that she had never thought existed in any other person before. She felt significant.

A rapturous first.]

... Never mind that. [She draws the jacket around her shoulders tightly.]

The rain feels nice...

Edited 2015-01-22 07:34 (UTC)

[ Diarmuid is, in a way, stupidly selflessly selfish; his stoicism is for his virtues, and he's sometimes blind to its consequences.

But he cares, above all else— it's hard to debate the fact that he has a heart, and he pauses for a moment when he sees that he might have made a misstep.

He knows it's forward of him, but he reaches out to brush off some mist clinging to his Master's hair, thinks about lavender again. ]

...If you have a wish, it's your Servant's duty to grant it.

[ He says, with conviction. ]

I said before, that I didn't have a wish. But...

[They've passed through Miyama Town and they're on the path that leads to the local high school. She looks up at him. Her expression is genteel yet inscrutable, all at once.]

There might be one now. It's not quite crystallized in my mind. In fact it's very vague and very useless. But I'd like you to hear it.

Edited 2015-01-22 07:55 (UTC)

[ "I thought you may have thought of one", is what he swallows, and instead of voicing that opinion, he nods in assent. ]

Of course. Whatever you have to say, I would hear it.

[ And if it's within his power to grant, he will; whether by winning her the Grail, or something else within his limited capabilities as a Servant given temporary visitation rights to this world. ]

I wish not to disappear.

[The rain continues to drizzle lightly, creating some light drops in her hair. She runs her fingers through it in an absentminded fashion.]

... Like I said. Vague. And in a way, you've already been fulfilling this useless wish of mine.

[ He blinks, and then his expression shifts into something profoundly melancholy, a smile that borders on physical heartbreak. Those words are similar to a sentiment he's heard before, a sadness he doesn't quite know how to touch but has, in the past, succumbed to: a young woman whose only wish was to live.

Instinctively, a hand moves to brush a piece of hair out of Ai's face, and the motion is dangerously gentle. ]

Permission to protect your wish, then, Master.

[Blood.

It spills from his heart.

Blood.

Spills from his mouth.

Blood.

From his eyes.

This was enough. This was enough. This was enough. More than she deserved and he wasn't asking for anything more. She BEAMS at him, like a ray of sunshine, her deep blue eyes shining.]

Permission granted! You will win.

[She says so with confidence and like a child with boundless faith.]

So bear with this Master a little while longer.

[ "May your wish bring ~~disaster~~ happiness".

He falters slightly— where has he...?— but pulls himself together upon seeing that smile on Ai's face, on seeing how she seems to light up. In all honesty, he feels... vindicated? No, that would be selfish, but he's happy that he's finally on this path, that his Master is here, that he's been blessed with her. ]

If you would humor me.

[ A light joke, and he narrows his eyes somewhat fondly. ]

You seem to forget that I'm the one indebted to you.

Did I now?

[She playfully quips back with energy that's more appropriate for a young woman her age instead of that dreadful melancholy.]

If I've forgotten, maybe it's because I forgave that debt?

Edited 2015-01-22 18:46 (UTC)

I imagine that it would be difficult to forgive, considering that I'm still here.

[ He owes his entire existence to her, what can he say... but he knows by now not to keep it too heavy, so he smiles instead of looking too stoic about his statement. ]

You give me a fair amount of liberties, all things considered.

Hm. I can't deny that... But I think that's because you already hold yourself up to high standards.

Although maybe to someone like Cu Chulainn, I might have seemed uptight... [Referring to the time when she got stuck with him of course.]

[ A blink, before he laughs— he's a little curious, actually. ]

Ireland's Child of Light is as free as the wind. Not everyone can be so daring.

[ Read: Cu probably thinks everyone is too uptight, don't worry about it. ]

It's a wonder Lien is able to work with him knowing how she is. [SHE'S PROBABLY GOOFING OFF RIGHT NOW even though they have Headless Rider to defeat, geez, Ai looks irritated at the thought]

I think they make a fine team.

[ Is his sincere assessment of the matter, despite the fact that they should reasonably be enemies. They've passed that juncture a long time ago, though. ]

Neither of them attempt to put the other into a mold.

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