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Go forth my children.

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1) I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays

2) You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.

3) You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.

4) your choice!

I thought we had this talk.

Don't send me shit like this.

I thought you said not to send you stories?

I don't care who you get plastered with either.

hey are you jealous? you and I can go drinkin anytime yknow

Who the hell would be jealous about that?

you it sounds like! :)

I don't celebrate Christmas by the way.

really? Why not?

It's just an excuse for dating and taking a break in Japan so it doesn't have the same meaning like in the West. New Year's is a bigger deal.

well I don't get to celebrate it often. Hard to keep track of it

Oh yeah. Cause space.

How do you keep track anyway?

I don't really. I lucked out this time

also so you don't want to know about my bad decision

sexcision

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why aren't you pregnant and dead yet, the saga never ends does it

okay kid

first of all

did anyone teach you about the birds and the bees because i am nowhere near mature enough to take on that responsibility

Yes, I know what coitus is

and do you mean the responsibility of being dead or pregnant

oh my god lien don't call it coitus do you understand how weird that is

That's why it's funnier

cOItus

why are you doing this to me

I'm pretty sure that in some world, you deserve this

you know a lot of people just call it sex

a lot of people have been calling it sex for a long time

it's also shorter to type

S E X

that's why copy paste exists

coituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoituscoitus

anyways, how's your day so far

Edited 2014-12-22 03:00 (UTC)

oh my god stop

i'm not going to tell you now because my screen is filthy with your weird word

can't be any worse than half of the texts you've sent about sex things!!!

look man i can't help it if i am extremely handsome and well built and basically a catch

it is a part of my life

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