TFLN

[formidable]

Go forth my children.

Comments

Terry Bogard | King of Fighters

[cmon_getsrs]

1.) Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.

2.) Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??

3.) My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.

4.) I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.

5.) [ Feel free to send him a text instead! ]

[recluserose]

We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow.

[cmon_getsrs]

Either that means I must have tipped them very well for their services, or I was really stingy last night.

Either way, wonder what it says about us if we've got that being our highlight of the night?

[nostalgiabomb]

1) I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays

2) You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.

3) You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.

4) your choice!

1

[deathline]

I thought we had this talk.

Don't send me shit like this.

Re: 1

[nostalgiabomb]

I thought you said not to send you stories?

SURPRISE 1

[psychometer]

why aren't you pregnant and dead yet, the saga never ends does it

[nostalgiabomb]

okay kid

first of all

did anyone teach you about the birds and the bees because i am nowhere near mature enough to take on that responsibility

[stealwithit]

1. We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.

2. Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment

3. i'm in his phone as sushi coochie

4. When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.

5. Or text her!

4

[psychometer]

So is it a flaw in the design if it's troublesome to use when you're drunk?

[stealwithit]

Yes. A very fatal flaw in design. Unless the intent is to purposely confuse drunk people, then the design is absolutely flawless.

[offstrings]

1. there was a trapeze. enough said

2. You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced

3. I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.

3

[psychometer]

Racoons are the locusts of urban cities. A very close second to zombies and cockroaches.

[offstrings]

I thought it was nice! I know there are places where animals can talk, so...

[psychout]

1. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.

2. I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.

3. you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier

2

[arctype]

I TOLD you it wasn't me!! If I hit you in the face, you'd actually die!!

[psychout]

was that supposed to make me feel better

because it didn't

(I'm sorry already...)

[hgblood]

1. The fact that I can sew while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic.

2. I wonder if fish can live vodka. Or sake.

3. I think I signed up for a 5k marathon.

4. (or text him?)

3 im sorry even more

[psychometer]

Do it. Live out your dreams. Get muscles. PROFIT WHOEVER YOU ARE

[emotive]

1) I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.

2) only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man

3) I think I sprained my soul last night

4) She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything

5) [ SEND YOUR OWN TEXT ]

3

[stealwithit]

I am really really curious as to how one manages to sprain their soul

[theshiningone]

1. I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.

2. just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.

3. I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on

2

[emotive]

But it's STOLEN???

Shouldn't you give it back?!

SHRUGS

[huffnpuffs]

1. I think I just want go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff

2. Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.

3. My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.

4. Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responsible.

3

[emotive]

On concrete??? How long have you been out!? In fact, what even happened last night?!